And then he said, then the other guy said...

So, I'm creating again. Writing sketches. Hopefully funny sketches. I don't know if writing a sketch is harder then stand-up, but you still have to get the words just right. I guess I'll see when no laughter is heard over the diabolical writing in my sketches.
 One day in the near future (Probably when I've thrown out my horrific excuse for making money) I will be able to solely focus on this project.

My influences are The League of Gentlemen and of course Monty Python, but I don't want that to show too much. And these are all 'Male' sketch groups, maybe I should make mine with all of the boobs. What do you think?

Another question to provoke your kindest (or not so) thoughts is: Can girls be as funny as guys in sketches?

I think they can, but it's a bit harder, as with any comedy for a girl. Just because we're biologically wired to find men funnier. It's like their sad little mating calls. What do you think? Comment and tell me.

Also, another mind boggling question for you folk...

This is an idea of mine, but has it been done before? Remember this is a quick write up of the idea and not the final product.

Scene, in a small shop, 1 shop keeper, female middle-age. 

A customer comes up to the counter with a basket of shopping.  

S: Hi, can I help you?

C: Just these please.

S: Certainly sir, do you have a loyalty card?

C: I don't, no.

Short pause, look of disgust from shop keeper. 

S: You don't know? You don't know? (Mocking)

C: erm... I don't have one.

S: If you don't know that how can I expect you to look after these items, eh, eh, eh? (Slowly creeping closer to his face) 

C: err.

S:  (Agressive) Get out my shop.  

Has is been done? Someone said it sounds familiar, but that it could be from me telling them. 

Anyway! Bu-bye! :) 

Roo 

xx

All of the stress

On top of creating a world famous set that makes thousands upon millions laugh out load at the mere mention of my name, I also have to think about other things, or what you may call it, 'real life'. 

My 'real life' revolves around finding a job and getting into uni. The latter I have done and now have to choose between three very good universities. 

- Falmouth 

- York St John 

- UCLan 

Studying theatre at all of them I have to look into where will give me the best head start into a future of creating trees out of feet and writing stories based on taboo subjects, like Abortion. 

I've already done a piece on abortion, I myself have no opinions on it, we looked at Both sides of the coin, and came to the conclusion, after we performed it in front of about 100 people, that what we came up with, was shit. 

But I want to spend the rest of my life having fun and acting like a twat, while possibly sending a message and leaving a mark, so I'm doing theatre. 

I have also just got a job, working at Marks and Spencers, I know, thrilling. I start on Sunday. 

Controlling 8 9 week old puppies is tough too, fun but tough. I love it, every second, every scratch, every bite, every chunk of hair they rip out with their needle like teeth. I'm not looking forward to them leaving. I know, soppy. 

So many puppies. 

I watched the birth of one, incredible. 

That's my life up to about now, no more gigs in the near future, have to save for university now. 

So, I'll use this space for whatever, probably art, poems, ect. 

Thanks :) 

Ru 

X 

Excuse the cheese.

'Want a gig on Tuesday?'
'Yeah, sure' Were the words I would regret once I had stepped into the quaint little bar.
'I'm gigging with who?' I obviously looked perplexed as the very much experienced comedian passed me the act list once more.
I held my hand up with 2 fingers raised as I mouthed the word 'two' to signify the amount of gigs I had done and to get a shocked reassurance of how many gigs this comedian was off their big 300.

Panic-stricken I rushed outside to search for the nearest lonely puffer to abruptly push myself into a rehearsed speech as to why they should give this ex-smoker one of their (with prices these days they definitely should be) gold lined cigarettes.

As I exhale smokey death, words of distress and 'WHY AM I DOING THIS AHHH' follow.
'It's going to be ok,  the audience are lovely' came the reply from more than one person.

Ok, ok I have to do this, again if I don't the lack of milk this week won't be justified. So I go in and take my seat on the luxurious settee and await my on stage death.

I was second to last in the second act, I felt this was a bad mistake when I got told but what can ya do? This also meant I couldn't get it over and done with and relax.

The first act went by in a fury of funnies and then it was the break - Only 4 acts until me.
Sipping on the (free) glass of water I had I felt sick. I must've used the toilet at least 10 times. I was up and down like a blue assed fly. (My gran used to say that all the time)

'Hello, and welcome back to the second half!' Frantic applause broke out and slowly died down as the MC informed us of what we were about to witness in the next hour. (Comedians mostly, as you would expect)
I slowly lowered myself in my seat as the next 4 acts, each more hilarious then the last, stormed their way through their set.
'Are you ready for your penultimate act?' Once again a blaze of excitment spread like a cold through the tiny room. (I may or may not be over exaggerating the audience reaction a lil' bit). My heart was banging in my chest, my head felt tight and I felt sick.

'Rual Gomez!' The claps simmered into a titter at the mere mention of my name (There I go again). But, the audience had little idea of what was about to come before them. The fear paid off, adrenaline rushed through me as i improved greatly on my first gig.
I had control of the room, I left spaces for the laughs. It wasn't just one laugh either, all my punchlines hit. (I'm as shocked as you are)Once the room found out it was my second gig people couldn't believe it.
Afterwards I was buzzing, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I thought I was going to die but I (Excuse the cheese) felt alive.


It was bloody awesome.

Don't get me wrong, there was so much I need to improve on. I even got told I was one of the top of the night. I couldn't have been happier.

The lesson learnt that night was to not be terrified, to throw yourself into the deep end and even if you think you're terrible you're really not that bad. Take my advice and go for what you dream of. I know people say that all the time. But really, don't be scared and just do it. You'll thank yourself for it once you're old and unable. :)

Have you got a story about how something went the complete opposite to what you expected and made you ecstatic? Tell me in the comments :)

Thanks again for reading.

I've lost my keys.

'Ha ha!' Quick! Where's my notebook - 'Ah, shit it's gone.' Once again a potential laugh has floated away into the locked room of forgotten ideas. I'm sure I told it to wait. Oh well, I'm sure he'll come for a cuppa again soon, maybe when I'm in the shower. Oh, but I won't have my notebook in the shower it'll get wet an the pages will get stuck together and then ALL my ideas will be lost and I'll be left looking for that bloody key to open the locked door of the lost.

I hate writing, when you feel you have to. When the letters trudge out like the next block falling in a Tetris game. I love writing when the words flow like your hair as the wind runs through it while you're on the back of a dove. 

One of my secrets, which isn't so much a secret because many creative types do it, is to keep something near by that I can scribble a word or 2 on that'll make me remember later. 

Some of mine are as follows: 

- Toast Ghosts (Which sounds cool, more of a children's TV show, maybe I should go into that) 

- Poop (Just that - I don't know what's funny about poop anymore - or what isn't! Hahahaha, woah I'm hilarious)  

- Caveman, buses, shops (Yeah, decipher that one, if you can) 

And last but not least. 

- Tomato sun ( Erm - What? ) 

If anyone can tell me what went through my head that was so brilliantly funny that day, it would be appreciated. 

What I do is think of a punchline then write around it. It helps to do that instead of trying to write from the first line of the joke/story/script ect. That's my preference anyway. 

The difficulty comes from finding something that hasn't been done yet. Or if it has, you need to come in from another angle and write something even more hilarious than what's already been done.  

But it's hard! 

I love it when you've done a gig and you improvised a bit on stage or you thought of something that would have been funny at the time and wrote it in, or wrote around it. I know I've only done a gig so I'm far from the expert but it's already happened to me. I have now already got a nearly new set. 

Don't not write if you come blank. Write anything, put everything down. Even if it doesn't make sense - try to come up with things that don't make sense: 

 - Flinging grass into screwdriver bellies makes a great night out -

 - Running in on the bread pushing the glass out of the fridge - 

 - Afro protein - 

And so on... 

Write words as they come to your head, you might find that you can make something out of it. Plus, it's great fun and can be quite a laugh - It's called free writing, I think. 

- Unfortunately,  I couldn't do my 2nd gig last night as someone fell ill at Wimbledon station and I couldn't make it there on time. So, Tuesday - hopefully! 

I will probably write this again once I get into it more. I have been writing jokes for a few years but not actually got up to do them in front of people, I write poems and short stories too.

Phew.. Glad that's over!

Why don't you share your weird thoughts and notes - maybe try free writing in the comments? 

No Periods Please.

My heart was pounding in my chest, my head hazy. Standing outside Dirty Dicks (Not a strip club) smoking a cigarette, I gave up in September and every toke makes me feel naughtier and naughtier, I wait for the man with the list to arrive.
He seems to take ages, about 23 hours pass before he arrives and I state my name - Rual Gomez - He repeats it 3 times (He got it quick) and then writes it on the list. The list had scary names on it, are these people better than me? I really hope someone really, really bad goes on before me. When I say bad I mean I hope the audience run them off stage and kick them out then a man with a dog strolls past causing the 'comedian' to trip and fall into the road where a truck skims them causing their trousers to slide to their and everyone points and laugh, bad.

Why am I doing this to myself? I  ask taking another drag of the cigarette. I could just leave now, but I don't. I could pretend to have a 'spell' that girls have and boys get flustered about, but I don't. Why are the other people looking calm - What's wrong with me?
I can't leave anyway, being an aspiring performer in my early 20's I'm poor as shit and I've just wasted nearly a weeks food on this train ticket so I HAVE to do it.

We make our way downstairs. I'm one of the lucky ones and I have someone to bring with me so I don't feel too much like a knob and if I am terrible I can just blame it on a drunken dare and 'I ain't one of those who pass up their dares, no sir!'
We sit and we wait - talking passes me until I ask for another aid. 'Can I have a Fosters please?'

'Ru, you're on 4th'. I nod and look at the stage again. Sipping my drink I look at my pal and give the 'Can't do anything about it now' look.
Then, the show starts.

My heart feels like it's going to explode, I'm not really focusing on the other acts but I notice they're pretty good - 'Hey! Where's all these first timers?' I think. I just about finished my mind sentence before my names called and I can't get out of this now.
'Hi! I like to tell you...' I start my set. It's going well! 'They have met me!' the audience titter. Shit, shit, shit - the next line escapes me. I have my set in my poem book - my poem books there to make me look like a proper artist, but it really just makes me look amateur ' Not gonna use this next time' I think to myself as I fumble for the page where my set is scribbled.
Ah! I got it! 'But i'm not a...' I carry on. All is good! I laughed the glitch off and it seemed to work as the rest of my set flowed with more energy and above all I was enjoying myself.
And it's over.
The fasted 5 minutes of my life. I sit back down all nerves gone. The lingering adrenaline helps me enjoy the other acts more. I sit back and relax. 'I'll only smoke to help calm my nerves' I say confidently while inhaling another drag, in the interval.

The walk back to the station was quick. I wouldn't shut up about it - as the person I went with was a comedian too, one with a lot more experience. He gave me advice. 'Are you coming next time?' I ask. 'So, you're doing it again then?' He replies smiling.